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billyknox  > photos > PST - Affectionately known as my time with Babba Elka
The first three months of my time here in Bulgaria are being spent in a small rural community studying the language. These are the things I have seen and encountered so far!
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This would be me. I am leaving in a week and will be gone for two and a half years and I think I am just now beginning to see the beauty and blessings that have surrounded me. I flipped out the other night and was a bit of a wreck... hence the following: I think, if I am honest, that I like to pretend that I have no reservations about leaving and that I am nothing but excited about embarking on this grand adventure I have ahead of me. That isn't true, it might have been at some point in time but not anymore. I am leaving things behind. Big things. Important things. People. I am just starting to realize that the relationships that I am leaving here, although they will still be here when I get back, are leaving this void within my soul that cannot be easy to fill. I am going to miss the guys that I have done life with over the course of college, and although I will have this unique experience and will get to see the world and all that I am missing out on the opportunity to establish myself in a place with great people and dig in and grow roots. I think I am beginning to see the infinite value in that. Some would say that I am blessed to have this opportunity, and they would be right. I would say that you are blessed to be in community and surrounded by those that love you and that you love. The entirety of human experiences doesn't compare to the weight and glory that is contained in knowing and being known by somebody. I have been ignorant to this. It is funny how you have to be outside of something to see it. I was grossly unappreciative of what I had these past four years. We had a chance to do something great and I believe that I blew it. I took for granted the caliber of people that I was surrounded by and never again will I have that opportunity. I am disappointed in myself. But we move forward and the world keeps spinning... And now, I am scared. There I said it. This whole thing is starting to get scary. I am moving to the other side of the world with nobody to lean on. Pray for me. Pray hard for me. I am going to need it. If you are reading this then know that I love you. BK
This is where my heart is. The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant those who mourn in Zion⎯ to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified. They shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastations; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations. Strangers shall stand and tend your flocks; foreigners shall be your plowmen and vinedressers; but you shall be called the priests of the Lord; they shall speak of you as the ministers of our God; you shall eat the wealth of the nations, and in their glory you shall boast. Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy. For I the Lord love justice; I hate robbery and wrong; I will faithfully give them their recompense, and I will make an everlasting covenant with them. Their offspring shall known among the nations, and their descendants in the midst of the peoples; all who see them shall acknowledge them, that they are an offspring the Lord has blessed. I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. For as the earth brings forth its sprouts, and as the garden causes what is sown in it to sprout up, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to sprout up before all the nations. Isaiah 63 This is a place my heart has not been in a long, long time.
And the adventure begins… I guess the appropriate place to start is from the beginning. I want to thank everyone who came out last Saturday for my going away party. I wish I could express how incredibly humbled and blessed it made me feel to know that I have people supporting me and thinking about me and praying for me. Words really do not exist to communicate the impact that that evening had and is still having on myself. I am floored. Then there were the goodbyes. From dinner with my mom to the Last Supper to the Last Last supper that me and Chris and Luke had in Hempstead, TX (a dinner I will never forget for the record), to the Last Last Last supper with my Dad and Diana and the Pooters… Luke was there too. I am not really good at the whole goodbye being emotional thing but the times I spent with friends and families the past few days were deep and rich and good. I think I am beginning to see what it means to live in biblical community from those precious times. Here is to the next 40 years of that stuff… So then I leave. And the day from hell begins. I wake up and all is good and right in the world. I am all packed up and I say goodbye to my little sisters and Diana and hop in the car with my Dad for some last minute father son time (good for the soul… and sorry to leave you surrounded by women for the next two years pops but remember that men would kill to be in that position). Things go smoothly until I get on the plane. We sit on the runway for about an hour and a half, I didn’t really mind though because I was beat and so I just took myself a little nap. I make it to D.C. and go to get my baggage… See that big bag in the picture up there… nowhere to be found. After sorting out my differences with the baggage people (who were wonderful for the record) I find out that my bad decided to go to Miami and would be put on the next flight up to D.C. where it belongs. The world keeps spinning and there are larger forces at work here I remind myself. Off to the hotel with the hopes that my bag is delivered sometime between then and Sunday when I leave. Check in. I am asked for my ID and get it out and give it to the man at the front desk. He then asks me how I will be paying for the room… No, No, No I say. The Peace Corps is paying for my room. Well long story short someone forgot to check a box somewhere and after a couple of trips up and down the escalator everything gets smoothed out. This is when I put my hands in my pocket and notice my wallet is gone… Not a big deal since I had been in all of three places since I had it last. Surly I left it somewhere and I just need to retrace my steps and pick it up. Well it is nowhere to be found… Three days before I move out of the country my wallet gets stolen. Cash, Credit Card, Debit Card, and ID. Gone. The world keeps spinning I tell myself… Well I have no money and no way to get any money. My passport is in my other bag (on its way up from its vacation to the beach) so I can’t cash a check or anything like that. The Peace Corps is actually really wonderful and forwards me some cash and I go meet up with Joe and Ryan (who buy me dinner… I cannot thank you enough for that) and end the night on a good note (minus getting lost and traveling to what I believe to be the wrong part of town before I made it back…). My bag arrives safe and sound the next morning. Although, when I put it on the plane it was perfectly white and now it has one or two battle scars. This is the day that kicks off my Peace Corps experience. This is the day that reminds me I am not in control. This is the day that reminds me when all is said and done the world keeps spinning… Pray for me. BK 8/9/08 A quick update to this story: I get a call from my parents a couple of days ago and a man from Cleveland Ohio found my walled and thought it his duty to return it to me... Cash intact and all. We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him... I am pretty sure that applies here. The world keeps spinning.
This is the view right down the street form the placed we stayed during orientation week. It is a little town in the mountains south of Sofia called Panichiste. I don’t think I need to tell you this but I was blown away at how amazingly beautiful this country is. Here I am ready to go to the ends of the earth and live in a sweltering hut somewhere in the middle of nowhere and we show up and the place looks like this… It is worth mentioning that the weather is… what’s that word? Perfect. Orientation week was fun but it is kind of the first fruits of finally making it here. We were in Bulgaria but we weren’t ‘IN’ Bulgaria. On the whole though it was an amazing week. All of us volunteers really got to know each other (which is important because there isn’t exactly a surplus of American friends around… plus they are all great and interesting people) and we started developing relationship with the staff, who couldn’t be any more wonderful. I keep thinking to myself, “This is my Peace Corps experience…” I am waiting for the dream to end and to wake up back in College Station.
Neil, Caroline, Angelo and myself broke off from the rest of the group to just get away and be still for a little bit and we decided to go for a little hike. This is our adventure through the woods…
And this is where it led us… The view is not too bad if I can say so myself. Listen to Robbie Seay Band: Breathing Air Again
8/6/08 Okay. So my time here has officially begun. We spent the past week getting settled into our host families and starting the “daily grind” if you will. I will be spending the next three months in a small town not far from our orientation learning Bulgarian through formal classes every day and getting use to what my everyday life will be like for the coming two years. This includes taking hikes, drinking coffee (Kafe) and beer (birra) with the locals, and playing ‘Futball’ with the kids in town. I am loving life right now… The people here are amazing. They are beautiful (both inside and out…) and have opened their hearts and their homes to us from the get go. I personally could not be more grateful for my setup. I am living with a retired woman named ‘Babba Elka’ (Babba is the word for grandmother) and she is beyond description. In the social circles around town I am under the impression that she is quite high on the ladder of importance and I think it took about 3 minutes for everyone to know that I was the American living with Babba Elka. She is a sweetheart and has wasted no time in making me a part of her home. The picture is the view from my bedroom. The green at the bottom are grape vines… The sun sets just to the left and turns the whole sky an array of brilliant colors every evening. Last night my language trainer, Vladi, came by to see how things were going. I told him that I would like to help out around the house more and possibly do some cooking. Well that was all Babba Elka needed to hear. That night I picked cucumbers from the garden behind the house and made a fresh tomato and cucumber salad (the produce here is all from backyard gardens. I wish words existed to explain to you how amazing it all tastes). I guess I did well because this morning Babba Elka let me make breakfast and she gave me some amount of freedom as to what I ate for lunch, although I was required to eat a good deal of banitsa (a pastry dish – it is like a croissant filled with cheese. Amazing) The language is coming. I have learned that if you ever want to learn a foreign language then the only way to really do it is to go and live somewhere where that is all anyone speaks (the case I currently find myself in) and you will pick things up unbelievably fast. If you have ever had any inclination to do something like this then you should. It is a priceless experience and I am learning exponentially more than I thought I would, not just about the world around me but about myself as well. Tonight we are going to THE local restaurant to test out our language skills. After that some older men in the community invited me to drink rikia and orzo with them (local homemade alcohol – the must pungent stuff I have ever tasted) but other than that not much else is going on. How is life back in the states? I miss you guys. BK P.S. It is official. I miss Starbucks like crazy right now… Never would have guessed that would be the first to come up.
We hiked up to this monastery right outside of our town. The place was absolutely beautiful and the garden was amazing. There was a service going on so we popped in to check out how things were done in the Bulgarian Orthodox Church. My thoughts concerning this: "You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics—in physical laws—every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. It's clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the universe. I'm absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that "as you reap, so you will sow" stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff ... I'd be in big trouble if Karma was going to finally be my judge. I'd be in deep shit. It doesn't excuse my mistakes, but I'm holding out for Grace. I'm holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don't have to depend on my own religiosity." -Bono Props to C-walk for introducing me to the great theologian Bono.
Even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these...
This would be me.

I am leaving in a week and will be gone for two and a half years and I think I am just now beginning to see the beauty and blessings that have surrounded me.

I flipped out the other night and was a bit of a wreck... hence the following:

I think, if I am honest, that I like to pretend that I have no reservations about leaving and that I am nothing but excited about embarking on this grand adventure I have ahead of me. That isn't true, it might have been at some point in time but not anymore. I am leaving things behind. Big things. Important things. People. I am just starting to realize that the relationships that I am leaving here, although they will still be here when I get back, are leaving this void within my soul that cannot be easy to fill.

I am going to miss the guys that I have done life with over the course of college, and although I will have this unique experience and will get to see the world and all that I am missing out on the opportunity to establish myself in a place with great people and dig in and grow roots. I think I am beginning to see the infinite value in that.

Some would say that I am blessed to have this opportunity, and they would be right. I would say that you are blessed to be in community and surrounded by those that love you and that you love.

The entirety of human experiences doesn't compare to the weight and glory that is contained in knowing and being known by somebody. I have been ignorant to this.

It is funny how you have to be outside of something to see it. I was grossly unappreciative of what I had these past four years. We had a chance to do something great and I believe that I blew it. I took for granted the caliber of people that I was surrounded by and never again will I have that opportunity. I am disappointed in myself.

But we move forward and the world keeps spinning...

And now, I am scared. There I said it. This whole thing is starting to get scary. I am moving to the other side of the world with nobody to lean on. Pray for me. Pray hard for me. I am going to need it.

If you are reading this then know that I love you.

BK
This would be me. I am leaving in a week and will be gone for two and a half years and I think I am just now beginning to see the beauty and blessings that have surrounded me. I flipped out the other night and was a bit of a wreck... hence the following: I think, if I am honest, that I like to pretend that I have no reservations about leaving and that I am nothing but excited about embarking on this grand adventure I have ahead of me. That isn't true, it might have been at some point in time but not anymore. I am leaving things behind. Big things. Important things. People. I am just starting to realize that the relationships that I am leaving here, although they will still be here when I get back, are leaving this void within my soul that cannot be easy to fill. I am going to miss the guys that I have done life with over the course of college, and although I will have this unique experience and will get to see the world and all that I am missing out on the opportunity to establish myself in a place with great people and dig in and grow roots. I think I am beginning to see the infinite value in that. Some would say that I am blessed to have this opportunity, and they would be right. I would say that you are blessed to be in community and surrounded by those that love you and that you love. The entirety of human experiences doesn't compare to the weight and glory that is contained in knowing and being known by somebody. I have been ignorant to this. It is funny how you have to be outside of something to see it. I was grossly unappreciative of what I had these past four years. We had a chance to do something great and I believe that I blew it. I took for granted the caliber of people that I was surrounded by and never again will I have that opportunity. I am disappointed in myself. But we move forward and the world keeps spinning... And now, I am scared. There I said it. This whole thing is starting to get scary. I am moving to the other side of the world with nobody to lean on. Pray for me. Pray hard for me. I am going to need it. If you are reading this then know that I love you. BK
This would be me.

I am leaving in a week and will be gone for two and a half years and I think I am just now beginning to see the beauty and blessings that have surrounded me.

I flipped out the other night and was a bit of a wreck... hence the following:

I think, if I am honest, that I like to pretend that I have no reservations about leaving and that I am nothing but excited about embarking on this grand adventure I have ahead of me. That isn't true, it might have been at some point in time but not anymore. I am leaving things behind. Big things. Important things. People. I am just starting to realize that the relationships that I am leaving here, although they will still be here when I get back, are leaving this void within my soul that cannot be easy to fill.

I am going to miss the guys that I have done life with over the course of college, and although I will have this unique experience and will get to see the world and all that I am missing out on the opportunity to establish myself in a place with great people and dig in and grow roots. I think I am beginning to see the infinite value in that.

Some would say that I am blessed to have this opportunity, and they would be right. I would say that you are blessed to be in community and surrounded by those that love you and that you love.

The entirety of human experiences doesn't compare to the weight and glory that is contained in knowing and being known by somebody. I have been ignorant to this.

It is funny how you have to be outside of something to see it. I was grossly unappreciative of what I had these past four years. We had a chance to do something great and I believe that I blew it. I took for granted the caliber of people that I was surrounded by and never again will I have that opportunity. I am disappointed in myself.

But we move forward and the world keeps spinning...

And now, I am scared. There I said it. This whole thing is starting to get scary. I am moving to the other side of the world with nobody to lean on. Pray for me. Pray hard for me. I am going to need it.

If you are reading this then know that I love you.

BK
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